buttlid:

wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours

(via no-wifi)

jackwhitevevo:

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

(Source: fullmetaljackit, via no-wifi)

phatamy:

urietarded:

textbooks attempting to be racially diverse will always be the funniest thing 

chow liung pao and shyniqua went to the supermarket

(via twinking)

seriousjones:

hi everyone, it’s dorothy gale from kansas, and i nominate the wicked witch of the west for the ice bucket challenge

(via swaying-hips)